Hi, all! For today’s post, I’d…
Hey yourself, brain. I was talking to my readers…
Readers? Pfft. You’re still alive?
Yes, little voice, I’m still alive.
Are you sure?
Yes! No. Maybe? That’s way more metaphysical than I was aiming for with this little intro.
Sorry. Maybe you should explain where you’ve been for the past three months?
Sigh. Fine, little voice, I’ll do that.
The spiral of sadness
Over the past year, my wife’s condition has deteriorated markedly. (I’ll spare you the details; let’s just say I wasn’t prepared to deal with wheelchairs and daily nurse visits at 30.) In retrospect, I went through the classic stages of grief, starting a year ago with denial. Intellectually, I could see how things were getting bad, but I just pretended they weren’t happening. I signed up for raids all the time, was working on collecting every pet, alted it up. Then, boom. After a few ugly fights, I realized my wife’s condition wasn’t going to get better, and I had to start adjusting to the new reality. I did…but I got mad about it. It wasn’t “fair” that I had to stop raiding, it wasn’t “fair” that I had to take over all the household chores, etc.
Then I started my new job, with a much more…direct…boss. Stress level went to 11 and available free time went to 0. I skipped the bargaining stage and went straight to depression. Depression manifests differently in different people, but to me, it was totally withdrawing from interactions. I retreated to my Steam library of single-player games and stopped posting, stopped Tweeting, hell, even stopped talking to real-life friends. Sleep–Work-Eat-Sleep-Repeat. I stopped playing WoW entirely; I never even finished Siege of Orgrimmar on any difficulty. I considered coming back to write things at some point, maybe some post-Blizzcon thoughts…but what was the point, really? Everyone writes better than I do, so why bother? The more depressed I got, the worse I felt my writing was, which depressed me more, and CYCLE.
So ends the year.
Thankfully, there’s a new one coming up. I’ll save the walls of exposition and just say that I’ve gotten through most of the black clouds, accepted the situation as it is, and am ready to get back to participating in my Internet-life again. :)
I likely won’t be writing about WoW for a while. Let’s be honest – if you don’t have an active guild/community to participate in, the parts of WoW that are left are not all that entertaining. Questing is far too easy, crafting is pointless, and gearing up is irrelevant. About the only reason for me to keep pushing was Brawler’s Guild, and I got frustrated with the wait times for those. I’m staying openminded about the new expansion, but from what I’ve seen so far, it’ll be more of the same. Of course, the forums will stay open, so the people who really know what they’re doing can chat, and I’ll update the beginner guides for WoD when that comes out.
I have, however, been bitten by the Hearthstone bug. (Makes sense; the game is basically lots and lots of numbers in a Warcraft-candy shell.) After the first of the year, I’ll be writing Hearthstone guides and posts primarily, as the game gets closer to open beta. (Sadly, I have no beta keys to give out, though they’re apparently much easier to come by now; also, the open beta will likely occur within the month.) I’ll also be making some updates to the website and forums to support the change, as well as some general maintenance. As always, feel free to PM me on the forums or send me an email if you’re looking for a personal response. I’m also actively looking for people to chat with in HS, so feel free to send me a friend request at Alaron#1198, and I’ll see you at the tables/realms!